Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha! Gone,
gone, have gone, altogether have gone!
Interestingly, Red Pine does not offer any translation for
this line, believing instead that it is a mantra. The frequent repetition of
this mantra, in his view has the power to take us to the other shore. What
other shore? Right here of course, where else can we go? Right here, right now.
That is all there is.
What is
fascinating to me if I pause to reflect on it is who goes to that shore? Who is
right here right now? Who is gone, gone, altogether gone? The other day I was
sitting in a coffee shop talking with a friend. Suddenly I had a flash where I
realized that I was gone. Totally, profoundly gone, to a degree I hadnÕt
experienced before. I had no sense of myself whatsoever at that moment. In the
past that would have terrified me, but I just accepted it and let it go. I
would try to remain present. (Language is completely failing me here when I
speak of my accepting, my letting go, my remaining present, for in fact there
was no sense I or my at that particular moment.)
What
happened next was even more interesting to me, because nothing special
happened. The conversation just continued. It felt as if my words just flowed
out of emptiness, as if emptiness was responding to my friendÕs comments and
questions. However, again there is a linguistic barrier, because that emptiness
wasnÕt absolute. Perhaps Òempty of self-existenceÓ, Red PineÕs phrase makes
more sense. Without a self-existent presence, there was still something that
very clearly responded in a direct, open and even thoughtful way.
Of course in
a very short while that passed. I was late getting home to my family to go out
and cut a Christmas tree. I donÕt know if one every really could be gone, gone,
altogether gone for more than a short while like that? It would seem that
conducting the affairs of daily existence would be difficult. At the same time,
I do think that provides a different basis for daily existence. Even sitting
here now, while I am not so completely Òempty of self-existenceÓ as I was in
the situation I described, I am less solid than I used to be. In that state I
find it easier to let go, to be, to accept, to react from openness and
compassion.
Of course IÕm leaving for work in a few minutes. There I
will get triggered into my spaces where the Three Poisons will arise. Then
letting go, being, accepting, reacting from openness and compassion will be a
thing of the past. Perhaps this morning I can maintain an open compassionate
presence for at least 10 minutes? Okay, how about 7? Well maybe 3É.. Who knows
what is possible. The supervisor with whom I had so much difficulty just gave
me an extraordinarily positive annual evaluation. Much of that was based on
attitudinal qualities I wasnÕt even aware I was displaying. Maybe there is
something to all this Zen stuff.
Gone, gone, altogether have gone to the
office.